User blog:Superpizzagamer685/Wicked Witch of the West vs The Witch - Rap Battle Wrestling
Here is a rap battle I wrote for an Into The Woods-ish battle royale. Enjoy! MEDIOCRE RAP BATTLES!!! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!!! VERSUS!!! THE WITCH!!!! BEGIN!!! Wicked Witch: All right, Disney creation, it is time for some real magic! How many times did you do something and it ended up tragic? I’m the original witch, I got a broom and a hat! You got this cursed spell that couldn’t even hurt a gnat! (*Evil Laugh*) I’m a classic. You got redone by the Sweeny Todd composer Who didn’t how to write for you a pair of chausseurs. You are the uglier version of Elsa. However, you can’t Let It Go, So why not instead come with me and follow the Red Brick Road? The Witch: Well, well, if it isn’t the female ogre with the flying monkeys? I’ve seen a better death in the Wiz when you went toilet dunking! I had my share of success, and I admit that your movie was good Except for the fact that you turned from a dog napper to the witch that you never should! I can coax the Baker and his wife to do whatever I please. You can’t even get the ruby slippers off of Dorothy’s feet! You know that all scare-crows hate fire, but don’t forget: The extinguisher is what you fear the most, though it’s not really a threat. Wicked Witch: I have a whole entire castle, you just live in a cottage. Including you, all the fairytale creatures are basically amish! My rhymes flow faster than the Kanas twister can whirl! Ah! I’m melting! Melting! What a world! What a world! The Witch: You may have not died like your sister, smashed and house-slaughtered, But it’s ironic that I can actually cut your flows with water. So, Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead! Just like the milky white cow! And there’s no way that the four items will save you now. Baker/''Baker’s Wife: Aha! It’s that witch from next door who cursed us before, 'But now it’s our turn to bring out the climax of this show.' What’s the point of wasting your power on the green female slime-ball? 'So that we whack this other witch, and defend us all! We’ll place her in our oven like we’re like Hansel and Gretel, ''Then we’ll have some nice bread with plenty of time to settle.'' Therefore, as you can see,'' It Takes Two to take your life'' By the well-spoken baker'' and his talented wife!'' Cinderella: Talent? Please! I’m the one who has to work all day! But every morning I end up dreaming about riches all the way! A dream is a wish your heart makes except for the old witch. Your dream is the ashes, the leaves, and the trash that smells like fish! I am a friend to animals, only have step-sisters, no others. Now excuse me, while I go visit the Fairy Godmother. With a Bippity-Boppity-Boo! I get into the festival With the place as overcrowded as the center of a shopping mall! Oh great! A very nice prince has come, and now we can dance together. It feels like that this perfect moment would just last forever... Oh gosh! It’s midnight! Forget the other gold slipper As I flee away from this crude oil that attaches like a sticker. Lady Tremaine: Where have you been all this time? Out with that prince-jerk? That’s a huge shame on you! Now get back to work! I want you to do all the chores, and scrub the floors, and then you have much more Than the ashes from the fire--Now, who are these bores? We have an old lady and two bakers who can do better than “Cinderelly”, Though with your broken village, you’re all the higher social class of smelly! You know, what? I’ll just trap her in her room and keep the key in my pocket. I’m richer than all of you combined, so why don’t you just suck it? Little Red Riding Hood: I was just strolling along this path, when I suddenly came across All these people who are as clear as the happy trees from Bob Ross. I’m just a little girl with a basket and a blood red cape. You can’t verbally insult each other with this sweet face. And Madame, don’t be cruel as to lock your stepdaughter up. Even the baker could defeat you with his measuring cup. I’ll just take the key and clearly see that Cinderella now goes free, Unlike how the Wicked Witch of the West captivates her flying monkeys. Here I am! A girl who can fly higher than Jack can climb the bean-stalk, And Little Red Rapping Hood can spit rhymes much faster than I can walk or talk! The witch needs her beauty? Why not just go to the beauty parlor. Cinderella needs a prince? I think there’s a prince who can easily charm her! So I go over the river and through the woods. Or should I say, “Into the Woods” To Grandmother’s house to tell the tale of how I, Little Red Riding Hood, Took down all of you with my sweet words, not that cursed spell violence! And now you’ll know that the only sound you’ll hear in my MC woods is silence! The Big Bad Wolf: "Hello, Little Girl". You say that there’s silence? Well I completely broke it! Your rhymes are like how I eat my food: I choke it! That sweetness that you have now turns into a terrified face! And now I don’t have to see red because the baker took your cape! I could clearly eat you now, but spitting words is much better, And I don’t know why you would go to Grandmother’s house if she didn’t write you a letter. Your plump face has the MC talent that I truly savor, And the bread that you bought from the baker would add a nice flavor. Rapunzel: Make up your mind, Wolf! Are you going to eat her or not? ‘Cause there’s no way that this Little Red Girl is going to rot. I can climb down without the prince coming to rescue me, So, Cinderella, you don’t need a prince in order to flee From the evil stepmother and the Big Bad Wolf that bites! And Red Riding Hood, you’re too Little to handle an extensive verbal fist fight. With all your many features, there’s none that can compare To my golden, Rumpelstiltskin-like 100-feet-long hair! Brothers' Grimm (Jacob and ''Wilhelm''): Stop right there! All your stories are out of whack! ''What you need is a rehash of Wilhelm and Jack!'' It’s Jacob, Willy. ''Oh yeah, I forgot!'' Our stories are true classics even after our bodies started to rot! ''Sure, the musical may have inspiration from our tales,'' But much changes lead ratings toward the bottom of the scales. ''We know that the Disney movie is full of dread,'' So let’s figure out how all their stories REALLY ended. ''Hey, witch! Stop sleeping! The Yellow Brick Road’s not a bed!'' Umm, Willy? She isn’t sleeping. I think she’s dead. ''Oh. Well, in that case, I’ll just talk to this other Witch'' ''And you can clearly tell that her ugliness could use a face lift'' Mr. Baker, your wife just went straight down to hell-a, And, in the end, you end up being cared by Cinderella! Speaking of her, why did Rodgers and Hammerstein do a comic version of you? ''Hey, Lady Tremaine. Lock her up, and let her go “Boo Hoo!"'' Red Riding Hood, you get digested in the wolf’s stomach (''made entirely of bed sheets'') And, really, a lumberjack saved you, not a baker (the cut not so neat) Ah, The Big Bad Wolf, why do you chase a girl all the time? You didn’t even eat her this entire rap, even when we started to rhyme. ''And last, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, you think you’re so fair?'' ''In both Disney versions, you end up cutting all of your hair!'' Your musical was based on our words,'' you deserve no glory!' The Brothers’ Grimm are the masters of the horror fairy-tale stories! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! MEDIOCRE RAP BATTLES!!!!! Category:Blog posts